Cult Classics Series 1 > Patrick Bateman Action Figure

Cult Classics Series 1 > Patrick Bateman Action Figure
Cult Classics Series 1 > Patrick Bateman Action Figure
Price: $15.99
Customer Review: patrick bateman
This toy is verry well made he has a cold look of hate on his face and comes with lots of lil thinge you saw in the movie.....he is easy to pose and with all the stuff that comes with you can make a number of looks....for me I made a custom victom and have him holding the axe while holdind hands with the queen from 300 she is holding the nailgun so i give patrick bateman a 5 out of 5
Customer Review: Corporate Stiff
OK, now---& I'm willing to spot for chow at Dorsia if I'm wrong on this one---but didn't Patrick Bateman, Wall Street investment banker & Boy-next-Door by Day, bloodthirsty axe-wielding psychopath by Night---didn't our boy Patrick work out? No, I don't mean "work out" in the conventional 9-to-5 thing, though he did that as well, ultimate Master of the Universe & Big Swinging [expletive, figure it out] in Murders & Executions over at Pierce & Pierce---I mean, go to the gym, break a sweat, hit the stairmaster, work those thighs, those gluts, those pecs, those dorsal lateral incipital vorialuses, bench press 300, get to the point where he could do 200 ab crunches while chowing down on some Chinese (no MSG) while watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Yes? I thought so. The guy was limber. Well here's the bad news: while Patrick Bateman served up bodybags full of bloody stiffs, Patrick Bateman the action figure is---well, just a bloody corporate stiff. As in he doesn't move. As in, with this little outting, you're just getting a kind of---um, in-action figure. Non-action statue? Think: three (count 'em, 3!) points of articulation. The head---so Patrick can look a little pouty, or a little glowering, or a kind of ow-slung pouty-glowering combo---and the two wrists. And that's it. That's what you get. Yeah, I'm with you, man: abandon all Hope ye who Enter Here. Now: I give this little plastic Armani clad monster 3 stars because--well, it's always nice to have a little Patrick Bateman around. I position him to the right of one of my big-screen monitors, shiny stainless steel Axe poised for the death-stroke---which is really, given the 2 workable points of articulation, the only stroke he can take---and it's all good. Some of my colleagues came into my office the other day and overheard me consulting the old boy's opinion: Patrick, which would you recommend, the spinach swordfish arrugla or the crem de Lamprey? Blue Lapis cufflinks or those shiny sterling silver ones from Jermyn Street with the blue Fair-Isle french cuff dress shirt? Nail Gun or IED? Full-break or cuffs? I get a lot of quiet time now. So it's really the Best of Times, & the Worst of Times, and we're all Les Miserables: it's impossible to get Patrick to hold onto his tony little Gucci briefcase properly, you've got to switch out his hand to make the nail gun fit, the New York Times style section doesn't have any little hubs to hold the Boy Next Door steady, and you can't get the left arm to pivot, which would allow you to let Bateman bring his Brave & Shiny new Axe up over his uber-coiffed head for the True & Totally Fatal Death Blow. But it's the only Bateman doll we got, so as his younger brother Sean might say: Rock and Roll---deal with it. Consider it dealt. JSG